I'm grumpy - that must mean I'm back in school

I’m back in school and guess what I’m grumpy. I know why I am here and this time around I truly choose to be here. Nonetheless, I’m grumpy.  I don’t mind going to class – to me, that’s the part I like.  The work associated with it really isn’t that bad.  It’s the feeling of having to do it that frustrates me to the point of tears.  The pain I get in my body from sitting still and reading the god-awful textbooks that are boring as hell.  I’m taking an Intro to Cinema course, sounds fun right – well so far it isn’t horrible but the textbook just about put me to sleep. I listened but I didn’t take anything in. I spent an hour listening to my textbook being read to me by my computer. That hour would have been better spent taking a walk in the rain. I sure would have been a hell of a lot happier.

I’m working on effort versus outcome this year.

I’ve been so caught up in doing well (which means getting A’s) that I have lost what an education is. I’m never going to be graded in “real life” with a letter grade; and guess what, I can’t fail “real life”. Yes, that’s right, I cannot fail real life.  I will get as much out of a class as the effort I put in and I am going to choose to be happy with the outcome.  What kills me is that average work is deemed as a “C” grade yet a grade point average of 2.0 isn’t look at as a good grade point average if you are in a competitive field.  In my syllabus for my Professional Communication class a C is seen as “Satisfactory/OK”, a B is “Good” and an A is “Superior”.  I’m trying not to make myself crazy this time around and am aiming for satisfactory or good.  Superior really isn’t going to get me that much farther in my college career.

When I get depressed and feel stuck, which is mostly when I am in school, I dream of all the far away places I would like to be. Right now I am dreaming of what the Peace Corps could be like.  Or how about getting paid to travel and write about it – but I’m talking about the real experiences… not just the best places to go/eat/sleep.  Let me walk the streets of Verona; eat at the hawker stalls in Singapore, walk the wats of Cambodia – just fly me away.

I have a friend in Seattle who talks about “make me smile moments”. Yesterday I had a make me smile moment.  I was at work and I was able to talk to a woman who was going to spend five weeks in and around Bali. She was preparing for her trip and I got to share all my knowledge about my traveling and what I took.  I loved getting to talk about my traveling and being candid that not everything was glamorous but I sure had a great time while I was there. Travel is what I love. No, I don’t love it all the time. And, yes, I love being able to come back home. But when I’m home I dream about all of the far away places I would like to be.

I could have spent the last hour reading my Professional Communication book, but no, I choose to write about my life and what I am learning.

I have no clue how much I will keep up blogging. I’ve been missing it recently and that may be that I’m back in school and I plan to have my feet planted for about the next year or so. For another one of my classes we have started a blog just for the class and that also got me back on my blog.

And finally, I found a song that I have been search for: “Home” by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros. Check it out!